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It Didn't Start with You

Updated: Apr 27

Mark Wolynn's book, It Didn't Start with You, explores how our family history affects our behavior and emotional well-being. Drawing from his experience as a therapist, Wolynn delves into the concept of inherited family trauma, also known as transgenerational trauma, and how it manifests in our lives.



The book is divided into three sections, with each section building on the previous one. In the first section, Wolynn provides an overview of the concept of inherited family trauma and the science behind it. He argues that traumatic experiences can be passed down through generations, affecting the behavior and emotional well-being of descendants. He also provides examples of how this manifests in people's lives, such as unexplained phobias, chronic illnesses, and recurring patterns of behavior.


In the second section, Wolynn explores how to identify and break free from inherited family trauma. He provides several tools and techniques to help readers uncover their own family history and the traumas that may be affecting them. For example, he suggests creating a family genogram, which is a visual representation of one's family tree, that includes information about mental illness, addiction, and other traumatic events. Wolynn also discusses the importance of developing self-compassion and forgiveness towards ourselves and our ancestors.


In the final section, Wolynn offers practical advice on how to heal from inherited family trauma. He suggests a variety of therapies and practices, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy, somatic experiencing, and meditation. Wolynn emphasizes the importance of finding a practitioner who understands the concept of inherited family trauma and can help guide the healing process.

One of the strengths of Wolynn's book is his use of personal stories and case studies to illustrate the concepts he discusses. These stories provide powerful examples of how inherited family trauma can affect people's lives and how healing is possible. Wolynn also draws on the latest research in neuroscience and epigenetics to support his arguments, making the book both accessible and grounded in science.


Overall, It Didn't Start with You is an insightful and informative book that sheds light on the concept of inherited family trauma and how it affects our lives. Wolynn provides practical tools and techniques for readers to identify and heal from this trauma, and his use of personal stories and research make the book engaging and accessible. For anyone interested in understanding how their family history may be impacting their behavior and emotional well-being, this book is a must-read. LittleBird Coaching can also help you develop strategies for exploring and healing from inherited family trauma.

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